Spider-man (not the amazing one)

Contrary to the title of this post, the movie I'm reviewing today is technically called The Amazing Spider-man 2, though it isn't amazing really in too many ways. I never enjoyed the Sam Raimi Spider-man movies for their lack of respect to the source material, uninteresting story lines, and the fact that Tobey Maguire doesn't look like a believable teenager, so I actually liked this better than any of the old ones, but I still didn't like many aspects of it. The first movie in the series was a great fresh start for the character of Spider-man, and I had really high hopes for this one, until I realized how overcrowded it was with villains, and how it took away all the mystery from the story of the first one. I really loved Electro for his creepy voice and look, as well as green goblin for being quite scary and slightly more like the comic book version of the character. I wish I felt the same way about Rhino, who was added into the script for absolutely no reason besides attracting more people to see the movie. Marc Webb is a good director, it definitely wasn't his fault that his movie felt like nothing but a big-budget cash in on a polar character. Sony tried to milk all the money possible out of the franchise, so they made Webb include too many villains to attract an audience. I will say, there's one moment that made me almost cry in the end. some major spoilers ahead........
     When Gwen Stacy died, I wasn't exactly surprised. I totally saw it coming, as many did, but I was still shocked. Webb perfectly recreated the effect of the comic in which she died, and it really got to me. Another one of the things I disliked about the old Spider-man movies was that Peter Parker and his girlfriend, Mary Jane had no chemistry at all. They were always fighting, and being awful to each other. Over the three movies, Mary cheated on him twice, which is totally uncool. She even got engaged to one of the guys she cheated on Peter with, then was awful to him too, leaving him at the altar to go back to Peter. In The Amazing Spider-man, and it's sequel, Peter and Gwen are really good to each other, and you can tell they care about each other. The audience cared about Gwen just as much as Peter because she completed him, she didn't just act as an annoying lady following him around and causing him trouble. When she died, it actually meant something. I bet if Mary Jane died in her second movie, I would just shrug it off and continue with my day after the movie had ended. So yes, it may seem like I'm raving about the movie for just this one scene, and I kind of am, but unless you saw and liked the first Amazing Spider-man, you probably won't care for this as much as I do. I can't give this a grade because it really depends on the viewer.

Avenge it!

Just the fact that The Avengers exists already makes me love it. No comic book fan, including me, could ever say anything bad about this because it did what no franchise has ever done before. For most people, it was just a summer blockbuster from 2012, but to me, it was something much, much more. I counted down the days to it's release, and couldn't stop thinking about it because this was the first time a comic book universe had been fully developed on screen. All these amazing characters were stars of their own, but now they were all getting teamed up just like it happened in the comics 52 years ago. Now, they're getting ready to team up again later in 2015 to take down Ultron, and again after that in 2017 for the Infinity War. If you went back in time to the 90's or before, and told a fan that, he wouldn't believe you if you gave him a million bucks. It was a gamble, trying to popularize these guys on the big screen, but it was worth it. Marvel and Disney really scored on this one, and now I hope DC has the same success. The combined star power of RDJ, Chris Evans, Samuel L. Jackson, Scarlett Johansson, and plenty of other acting heroes made it a complete success along with great direction, perfect special effects, well written script, and all the exciting feeling taken directly from the comics themselves. I don't know what else to say. I loved this, but I have no idea what it's like to see this film from a neutral point of view. A+++++

Superman: The (boring, cheesy, lazy, overrated) Movie

It seems as if the large majority of adults love the original Superman: The movie, but I find no reason to enjoy it. In the 70's, when the film was released, it was loved because it was good fun for the whole family and the effects were great for it's time. Nowadays, it's not in any way the same, so I don't like seeing people who still rave rave about it. I probably would like this movie because of it's witty dialogue, good acting, and iconic character moments if it weren't for a horribly written story. At the end of the movie, Lex Luthor shoots two missiles to blow up all of the west coast, and tells Superman he couldn't possibly fly fast enough to catch both, which makes sense, and one of the missiles does hit, killing lots of people including Lois Lane, Superman's love interest. Then, Superman goes into space and flies super fast around the earth, reversing it's spin, and turning back time. If he can fly around earth that fast, he should have been able to catch both missiles. Also, flying that fast around earth wouldn't reverse it's spin, and if it did, it wouldn't turn back time, it would just send everything on the planet flying at approximately 1000 miles per hour. Anyways, after earth is saved, Superman magically captures Lex and takes him to prison, without explaining how he was able to beat Lex if he couldn't do it last time. I don't understand why everyone regards this so highly if they hate on things like Transformers for having badly written stories. It just boggles my mind. I feel like it may have something to do with the fact that many adults saw Superman as a child, and it sort of shaped their life in many ways, therefore, they can't bear to say anything bad about. I was raised on the Transformers movies, so is it such a crime that I like those? Not if anyone can get away with liking Superman: The Movie. The least I can say is that you should see this movie if you want to laugh at the incredibly large plot holes and conveniences in the last 30 minutes of it. If you want something quality, I'd say you should see Man of Steel, which is gold, at least in comparison to this. D

Bill must DIE!!!! (vol. 1 and 2)

Kill Bill is unlike any of Quentin Tarantino's other movies. I count both part 1 and 2 as one because the scripts were written as one. Before Kill Bill, all of Tarantino's popular movies took place in L.A., and were about normal modern crime issues. After Kill Bill, he only made crazy action movies about revenge and/or general violence. He kept the same basic cinematic style, but the stories were about nazi hunters and escaped slaves rescuing their loved ones, including the upcoming "H8ful 8" as it is spelled. I think Kill Bill is where he changed it all. Kill Bill is a crazy swordplay-action-revenge flick involving all sorts of unusual characters and events. The first part is mostly setup to the big plot twists of the second part, though vol. 1 does have a lot of great stuff in it. I actually liked part 1 a little bit More than the second part because the whole end of vol. 2 is a big pile of exposition, plot conveniences, and a guy who obviously lied when he said he was keen on comics. It's hard to explain exactly what I meant by that last part, but some of you might understand what I'm talking about if you see the movie. I was actually okay with the final fight with Bill only being about 15 seconds long, because it was the best 15 seconds of the last chapter of vol. 2. Of all the reasons I have to like, or in some cases dislike these films, the thing that stands out to me the most is the villains. "The Deadly Viper Assassination Squad" is a team of the most badass, dangerous, and scary killers you'll ever see on screen. The team consists of Vernita Green (AKA copperhead) who retired to become a housewife, O-Ren Ishi-i (AKA cottonmouth) who's one of the most powerful crime bosses in all of Japan, Budd (no last name known AKA sidewinder) who lives in a trailer in the middle of nowhere, and Elle Driver (AKA California mountain snake) who's basically a female version of Deathstroke (comic book character). The main character, Beatrix Kiddo, used to be on the team and was known as black mamba, but, like vernita, tried to retire. It didn't go over too well with Bill, the leader of the team. Bill is an amazing character, with a creepy voice and killer moves (literally). Along her journey for revenge, our hero encounters more enemies that she fights to the death, like a rapist, a crazy bald dude in a black mask, and a japanese schoolgirl, but they aren't important. In a flashback sequence, she also encounters a rude old man who teaches her how to make a person's heart explode. This man's name is Pai Mei, and he is the wise sensei who teaches the main character, just like in every other martial arts movie ever made. (Star Wars as well). Although he was a cool character, he was just too cliché for my tastes. With all these upsides, and only a couple downsides, I still highly recommend Kill Bill, and it is one of my favorite movies of all time for many reasons. A-

Boom! Headshot.

A couple of hours before I went to see American Sniper, I saw a Facebook post about how Seth Rogen had related the film to nazi propaganda. I didn't understand what he meant. After watching it, I understood that he felt it glorified the military, and tried to make us not feel bad for the deaths in the Iraq war. I didn't totally agree, because the post traumatic stress disorder the main character, Chris, went through after his intense experience in the military was conveyed in a very scary manner, and made me want to join the army even less than I already did. You could also tell that he really felt bad about the deaths he was responsible for. He filled his mind with the teachings of his father, who said that you could justify violence if it was to protect the lives of the "sheep" as he called the innocent people who couldn't protect themselves. The predators were the wolves, using their power to prey on the innocent, and the sheepdogs were the ones who used their power not to prey, but to protect the flock. Sometimes, Chris felt bad about having to kill to protect his flock of sheep, because the ones trying to prey on the sheep were kids who you could say had bad influences. I liked how Bradley Cooper was magically able to erase his natural charm for this role. After The Hangover, Silver Linings Playbook, and Guardians of the Galaxy (as the voice of Rocket), I wasn't sure I would be able to see him play a serious role, but I was wrong. I was also afraid I wouldn't be able to hear people say the word "sniper" without thinking of this sniper:

But I pulled through. Don't go into American Sniper thinking it'll be a generic military action movie because it's not. It takes us on a tour of the effect war has on people who have seen way too much heavy stuff, for instance, kids throwing grenades, kids getting shot, kids picking up bazookas, kids getting holes drilled in their heads, etc. There were a few issues I found in it, though. For one, the special effects were bad. I could easily tell the blood, sand storms, birds eye view cities, and helicopters were all CGI. Another problem was the fact that it took place over a few years and Chris changed a lot off screen so we couldn't exactly see his PTSD develop, which was a huge part of the story. The last issue I found in it was the lack of a plot. I couldn't exactly tell if it was about taking down the evil sniper dude, or if it was about the PTSD and how it affected his relationships. With all of those downsides, I could only give it a B. Remember, if you're looking for a more lighthearted sniper story, just watch this:

Guard it!

When people get tired of superhero movies, you make a space opera. It's simple. After the Marvel cinematic universe had brought popular heroes like Iron Man, Captain America, and Thor to the big screen, it was time to give smaller characters the glory they deserve. The Guardians of the Galaxy aren't exactly heroes anyway, but they exist in the Marvel universe and needed big screen adaptations, so Marvel risked it all and spent a whole lot of money to make a movie they weren't even sure would be successful. The first thing I'd like to say is that they totally did the right thing when they copied the outlandish and over the top feel from the comic books, for instance, they introduced us to multiple crazy alien races, and had them interact in ways you might notice are similar to the way humans of different races and religions act. Some are radicals who want to kill off a whole species, while others are tolerant and trying to bring equality to all, no matter if your skin is white, black, pink, furry, and/or green. Another thing perfect about Guardians of the Galaxy was the use of Marvel comics lore. The Collector talked extensively about the infinity stones, and how there are six of them, each with the power to destroy planets. These stones are seen throughout all the Marvel films, including but not limited to, the Aether from Thor:The Dark World, The Tessarect, mainly from Captain America: The First Avenger , and The Avengers, and, of course, the stone depicted in this film, which was never given a specific name. It was fun to see these outlaws trying to get along to get some money, then saving the galaxy on accident. I also really liked Peter Quill holding on to his only memories of life on Earth. After watching this, I couldn't get over my excitement to see the team back in action when the sequel comes out in 2017 or something like that. All five of these funny team members did exactly what was necessary to make the audience laugh at their dysfunctionality but still root for them in the end. (also Dave Bautista again) A+

Iron Fist! No, not the Marvel superhero

It's 2015! My most recent post was way too long ago, so here I go, restarting my blog. I looked at my older posts, and I realized how bad of a writer I once was. I know that in a year or two, I'll look back on this and facepalm, but for now, I'll just appreciate my improvement. Now, let's get to the actual review.

     Every week, my friend Max and I hang out and watch a movie. One week, it'll be a movie he likes that I haven't seen, then the next week, vice versa. Over the time we've held this tradition, I've seen some good movies and some....... interesting movies. Once, we watched a strange Thai fighting film called The Protector, about a young man who's elephant gets kidnapped and taken to Australia, where the man goes and breaks a bunch of people's arms to get it back. As the credits rolled and I was speechless, thinking of the film's strange plot and awkwardly translated dialogue, a certain name rolled over the screen. Quentin Tarantino produced The Protector and I soon learned that it wasn't the first bad martial arts movie that had his name slapped on the cover for publicity purposes. The Man with the Iron Fists is the picture I speak of. While Iron Fists isn't in any way a good movie, it holds a dear place in my heart. On one of the movie nights following The Protector, my friend and I sat down to Iron Fists, although I had never seen it. I had seen the trailer, and thought it looked cool so we watched it. The next couple hours were strange, full of badly developed characters, weak plots, Dave Bautista, inexplicably weird moments, and more Dave Bautista. Additionally, RZA was featured, which was a strange casting choice thinking the same cast featured greats such as Russel Crowe and Lucy Liu. The one redeeming factor was that it was full of style. It seems as if the creators had brilliant concept art and ideas but didn't care about acting, story, or anything like that. Each of the numerous badass characters had really stylish weapons and/or powers, such as fans used to cut people's throats, the ability to turn into metal, armor that could shoot spikes, giant gatling guns, iron fists (of course), and strangest of all: rapid fire crossbows with seemingly infinite ammo that make me wonder if they're even crossbows at all. So, besides these amazing fight sequences and epic looking designs, the movie was a total bore.

     I guess you could say that it's kind of so bad it's good. For example, in one scene, an assassin comes to kill a dude. The dude looks up and says,

"Your journey ends here, and by that I mean your life's journey." At that moment, Max and I both burst out in to laughter and we did end up enjoying ourselves by the time the film had ended. So I can say that The Man with the Iron Fists was enjoyable and is worth watching if you don't take the quality of your movies too seriously, but it still isn't good.

                                                                F- but at the same time, A+